MIDLIFE Blog

On June 16, 2017,  Officer Jeronimo Yanez was acquitted in the shooting death of Philando Castile. I am sad however I am not surprised... Whenever I hear an unarmed black man is shot to death by a police officer, I, like many other African Americans, have several thoughts swirling in my mind: Damn! Not again! How / Why did this happen? Is this going to stop? The one thought I have that I hate is "I bet the officer(s) get acquitted." I want to think that the victims would get justice but here we are again. I remember that week of July of 2016. That week, Alton Sterling was shot in Baton Rouge under questionable circumstances so Black America was already on edge and then the live Facebook post happened. I remember watching in disbelief as Mr. Castile's girlfriend calmly broadcasted the events that lead to the shooting and the events that occurred afterwards. It was replayed over and over in the news and social media. The problem with this and other incidents

As we celebrate Father's Day, I, of course think about the relationship with my father and my future relationship with my son. Some of you may know that my father divorced my mother and left us when I was 13 years old. This has left a lasting impact on my life, of course. Self-esteem issues, problems with relationships, etc. My father has missed some big moments in my life. It has taken a lot of time, thought, meditation and prayer to open myself back up to him, but I have. We have discussed the past and he has apologized. I have listened and I understand his situation he was in and the fact that God has worked on his heart and has done some mighty things in his life. I am no longer mad at him.  Our relationship is much better but we still have work to do. It also helps that he stepped up at the time I needed him the most. In December of 2015, my mother passed. It was fairly sudden and no one in my family was really ready for it. However, while my family support system came t

I had a lot of heavy stuff put on me today. In the vein of openness and honesty, I went to a therapist today. It was an eye opening experience. Sometimes you need a third party with nothing invested to see things that you can't see and express it from another perspective. It was surprisingly not as hard as I thought it would be. I came into it with an open mind and really pushed myself to not to try to be this stoic island of a man. It made me think: Why did I feel like I had to swallow everything and try to endure without any help? Is it because as a man, I was just supposed to be strong and not ask for any help? Maybe. Is it because in the society, there is a stigma on mental health? Maybe that too. Is it because as black people, we seek all our mental health through the church and are told we just need Jesus and to pray about our issues? A little. Mainly for me, I fear the judgement. I had decided that this therapist would hear my issues and think, "What the hell

For the sake of full disclosure, I registered as a Democrat when I began voting because my Mom and my family were all Democrats and I just thought that was what I was supposed to do. As I got older, I realized that it is not about party, but who is best for the country. I started looking closer at some of the politicians and I feel more like an Independent. Liberal on some issues, conservative on others. As the first days of President Trump's administration are unfolding, I am starting to see something very disturbing. The Republican party seems to be quiet as President Trump puts out executive orders that are causing outrage and the Democratic party is putting up as much fight as a plastic sack in a windstorm. So, when we want someone to stand up for the people, where do we go? On the Right, President Trump said he wanted to "Drain the Swamp" and immediately attempted to hire some of the 1% to run the country.  I understand voting for Trump for change but seeing his

Donald Trump is the President of the United States. To the dismay of some. To the excitement of others. His first week has been very busy and he has started to push several issues that have caused a lot of controversy. I didn't expect any less. As I watched the news, look at social media and watch the late night talk shows, I still wondered how we got to this point. I started looking at my favorite politician (Bernie Sanders, if you must know) and his campaign and I saw a common thread. Both Trump and Sanders spoke about Washington elites and how they were detrimental to America...and they are right. "People at the top convince people in the middle that the people at the bottom are the problem." I read this quote somewhere and it really resonated with me. It is mostly about two things 1) the philosophy that keep the American people down 2) a distraction from the real problem: greed. President Trump ran on the promise to "Drain the Swamp" and clean

Every year, especially in social media, people see this day as an opportunity for a fresh start. They say, "New Year, New Me." I usually don't have a problem with it, but if you keep doing the same things in the current year you do in the previous years, you will get the same results. If you really want to be a new you, it starts with your thinking. When you seriously start to monitor and change your thoughts, then your life will start to bend to your way of thinking. Some people consider 2016 as the worst year because an unpopular political novice became president after a grueling and scandal filled campaign on both sides, giants of the entertainment world passed away and probably some personal stuff on top of that. While I did not vote for our president elect (my guy Bernie lost in the playoffs) and some entertainers' passing hurt more than others (Muhammad Ali, Prince, Carrie Fisher and her mother Debbie Reynolds within a couple of days to think of a few), I ca