MIDLIFE Blog

On June 16, 2017,  Officer Jeronimo Yanez was acquitted in the shooting death of Philando Castile. I am sad however I am not surprised... Whenever I hear an unarmed black man is shot to death by a police officer, I, like many other African Americans, have several thoughts swirling in my mind: Damn! Not again! How / Why did this happen? Is this going to stop? The one thought I have that I hate is "I bet the officer(s) get acquitted." I want to think that the victims would get justice but here we are again. I remember that week of July of 2016. That week, Alton Sterling was shot in Baton Rouge under questionable circumstances so Black America was already on edge and then the live Facebook post happened. I remember watching in disbelief as Mr. Castile's girlfriend calmly broadcasted the events that lead to the shooting and the events that occurred afterwards. It was replayed over and over in the news and social media. The problem with this and other incid...

As we celebrate Father's Day, I, of course think about the relationship with my father and my future relationship with my son. Some of you may know that my father divorced my mother and left us when I was 13 years old. This has left a lasting impact on my life, of course. Self-esteem issues, problems with relationships, etc. My father has missed some big moments in my life. It has taken a lot of time, thought, meditation and prayer to open myself back up to him, but I have. We have discussed the past and he has apologized. I have listened and I understand his situation he was in and the fact that God has worked on his heart and has done some mighty things in his life. I am no longer mad at him.  Our relationship is much better but we still have work to do. It also helps that he stepped up at the time I needed him the most. In December of 2015, my mother passed. It was fairly sudden and no one in my family was really ready for it. However, while my family support system c...

I had a lot of heavy stuff put on me today. In the vein of openness and honesty, I went to a therapist today. It was an eye opening experience. Sometimes you need a third party with nothing invested to see things that you can't see and express it from another perspective. It was surprisingly not as hard as I thought it would be. I came into it with an open mind and really pushed myself to not to try to be this stoic island of a man. It made me think: Why did I feel like I had to swallow everything and try to endure without any help? Is it because as a man, I was just supposed to be strong and not ask for any help? Maybe. Is it because in the society, there is a stigma on mental health? Maybe that too. Is it because as black people, we seek all our mental health through the church and are told we just need Jesus and to pray about our issues? A little. Mainly for me, I fear the judgement. I had decided that this therapist would hear my issues and think, "What the hell ...